Sometimes it takes more than it should: Part 1

How easy it is to make judgments and form conclusions about matters we don't fully understand or about customs to which we can't relate. It's no secret that people do this all the time, and it might even seem trivial to discuss it at this point. As it happens, the importance of openness has been quite the reoccurring theme in many of my blog entries. I have been able to appreciate my time abroad in a very dynamic and genuine way almost entirely because my opinions concerning Indonesia, America, and the world have been constantly changing. Being open to changes like this, as opposed to rejecting them, will inevitably lead to some confusion, but ultimately it's the only way to get to the bottom of things.

The idea of cognitive dissonance suggests that our behavior and our daily routines must be in line with our beliefs and our set of values. Otherwise, how could we possibly maintain our sanity? But, what is it that generally changes when a conflict arises between what we do and what we believe? Our routines and our environment are considerably more difficult to manipulate than what we simply daydream about on a regular basis, so when a problem occurs, the easiest thing to change is, in fact, how we feel about what is going on around us. It's not just common; it's necessary. How could I possibly continue living in a house that I don't own, whose actual owner is apathetic, whose bathroom is infested with cockroaches, if I didn't change (at least slightly) how I feel about cockroaches? Do they bite? No. Do they stink? Not noticeably. Do they crawl on me when I'm sleeping? Not that I know of. I've personally just had to respect the fact that, although my random roommate assignment isn't going to blossom into a cohesive or even a healthy relationship, we'll still be able to tolerate each other until I move out (if I alter my own standard of living).

When we're forced to change our perceptions because of a futile situation, it's not so exciting, nor is the change even always admirable. It's when we reluctantly but voluntarily throw away an obsolete belief that we've acknowledged was hindering our development as an individual. When stated so plainly like this, it's easy to brush off my last statement as common knowledge, and I'll be the first to admit that I've probably had a bit too much time for self-reflection. However, after having lived for almost a year in the middle of a half-Muslim-half-Christian city, which is many times larger than Louisville, KY, I've often encountered people who not only refuse to change their actions based on their beliefs, they even refuse to change their beliefs based on their actions. I know people who simply refuse to acknowledge the reality which with they don't agree, and they continue to lead a life that, in many ways, is quite false. That might be kind of nihilistic, but it's apparently the only way for many of us to function together in plural societies currently, where a large number of people simply don't care to put forth the effort to understand one another.

On a daily basis this year, I've spent more time among more Christians than Muslims. And since I come from a predominantly Christian nation, I'm generally assumed to be able immediately identify with all the Indonesian Christians and “take their side” when it comes to discussing religious topics. Consequently, I have been subjected to a wide-range of critical and sometimes very nasty conversations, which unfairly pigeonhole the very people with whom I spent an entire year during the first half of my grant. I don't have any doubt that just as many scathing conversations about Christians commonly take place within any given Muslim community, but I wasn't exposed to it last year because, even if animosity toward westerners existed in Guyangan, everyone there saw how quickly I would have been alienated by such discussions.

The most common complaint I've heard this year in Medan is one that really strikes a chord with many of my fellow teachers at St. Yoseph, and it stems from nothing but an abysmal attempt to actually understand the other party's intentions. A great deal of Christians here feel very put off by the fact that it is “against Islam” to wish someone a merry Christmas during the holiday season because doing so would “acknowledge the validity of another religion.” After hearing this over and over again, and then after receiving probably 40 or 50 text messages and e-mails from my former students and teachers in Central Java on Christmas day, I could no longer be quiet about it. I finally asked a teacher if they had ever uttered the words, mohon maaf lahir dan batin, to a Muslim neighbor during his/her biggest holiday of the year, Idul Fitri. This Indonesian Islamic seasonal greeting is one that I learned literally within the first two months of living in Indonesia, and of course, my teacher's answer was, “No.”

It's certainly not my intent to pick on only Christianity because, from what I've observed in Medan and in Pati, I could just as easily pull examples from Islam or even Sikhism. It's just that I currently spend a great deal of my time at a Christian school, and this is what's most fresh on my mind. All I wish to express is the importance of understanding and admitting when our society and our own lives have become berkotak-kotak (arranged into impenetrable little boxes).